A Squirrelly Condition

This subject may be scientific, but there is just NO way of writing this with a straight face. I received a voicemail early this June from a friend who sounded quite panicked. The only words I could accurately make out were “something,” “wrong,” “penis,” “can’t pee.”

My first two thoughts were:

1. Oh dear, why am I on the call list for penile dysfunction, and

2. What mammal are we talking about?

I called her back to discover it was a squirrel that she had raised since it was a baby – fondly named, “Clint.”

Poor Clint was set for release the day she contacted me, but unfortunately, she noticed he seemed lethargic and unable to urinate. After doing some research, I discovered that squirrels brought up on their own are far more likely to suffer traumatic injuries to their genital region due to excessive suckling. Permission to laugh now granted.

 

Urinary stricture is a VERY serious condition. On a side note: EVERY owner of a male cat should pay attention RIGHT NOW, because it just may save your kitty’s life! When the urethra (the tube connecting the bladder to the body’s exterior) becomes blocked for any reason (i.e. trauma, bladder stones, or thickening of the urine canal) it creates a backflow of urine. One very important job of the kidneys is to excrete toxins from the body. When these toxins cannot be excreted they will quickly build up in the blood stream. It doesn’t take long for the body to become poisoned by the toxic products.

The worst scenario that every doctor fears from kidney failure is the body’s abnormal accumulation of potassium. This can quickly lead to detrimental effects on the heart, and even cause sudden death. The only way to fix this is to relieve the obstruction.

I pondered the squirrel’s x-rays for a bit feeling quite nervous of my minimal surgical experience on these critters (and by minimal, I mean ZERO). Time was ticking and something had to be done. That is the point in which I’m prompted to “cowboy up” and do something, because doing nothing will almost certainly mean death for the poor animal.

The procedure was thankfully a success! Now we needed to provide post-op care and hope he would stop the “habit” to blame for the problem in the first place.

I cared for Clint for just over a week when I noticed he had caused a stricture again. At this point, I knew I was in way over my head to help this little guy. I didn’t have the appropriate equipment to relieve the obstruction, but I couldn’t just watch him suffer either. What to do? Though this story is already ridiculous, here’s where it reaches critical comedic climax:

 

Within a timeframe of about ten hours, I had a veterinary surgeon willing to do a much more invasive procedure to help Clint. I had a human cardiovascular surgeon who was generously willing to donate suture small enough to work with, and an ophthalmologist (thank you Dr. Carl Budelski!!!) willing to lone out his precious operating lenses for surgical magnification.

I think Clint may have been aware of my plan to make him into a girl, because the next morning, everything appeared to be normal again. WHEW, crisis averted -and surgery avoided!

 

Since then, Clint has behaved himself and surgical intervention has not been necessary. He is back in “the wild” and having a blast.

Sweet Mr. Clint left me with far more knowledge of the squirrel reproductive system than I ever cared to know, a scar on my right hand, and a chuckle in my heart every time I think of him.